Have you ever heard someone say "I don't go to funerals" or "I don't visit funeral homes, I just don't like them." Do you ever wonder why someone might make that statement? I think it is because a funeral is actually, to some extent, a hellfire and brimstone sermon in action. Funerals force people to consider their own mortality, at least in this life. It makes them think about things that they would otherwise just rather put on the backburner for another time.
I am 31 years old and I have been to my share of funerals. I have been to funerals that, in my opinion, more closely resembled a circus than the "celebration of some one's life". I wonder what causes that? I assume, though I am no judge and nor do I want to be, that it is a lack of the knowledge of the things of God (see Matthew 7:24-27) that causes the circus effect at funerals. For the record, the one I attended yesterday was conducted in right reverence and respect for a man that was loved by many, many people and in respect for God and His ways.
Now, I went to this funeral in support of my friend and sister in Christ, Traci Morrow, who had lost her dad. This is what we are supposed to do. In 1st Corinthians 12:25-26 Paul says "....there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it." So I went to comfort my friend. Little did I know that God had a Tremendous Blessing waiting on me in that little church in Clay County, AL. The things that I saw during this funeral were amazing to me and I don't know if I'll ever forget them.
Matthew 22:34-40
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Apparently Roy Carr (Traci's father) understood this passage in the Bible or maybe he didn't, I'm not sure. He did seem to live out his life with respect to those commandments though. A couple of things stood out to me about this man yesterday that led me to believe that Mr. Carr understood the very intentions of Jesus when he spoke those words.
Allow me to backtrack just a little to get to the heart of the matter. When I arrived at the little church for the funeral I was told by a mutual friend who had been at the visitation on Wednesday night that "there was standing room only there. You had to wait in line outside the funeral home to see the family. There must have been 250 - 300 people there. " Shrugging my shoulders I thought "wow, you see that a lot when a child passes away but not a 56 year old man." I casted it off to the fact that Millerville must just be a small, close knit community. I am sure that it is but that wasn't the only reason, nor the major factor, that caused all of these people to come out that night to the funeral home. When the funeral started I quickly found out that Mr. Carr had upwards of 30 pallbearers (I didn't count, that's just a guess - there were alot). These people were hurt at the loss of their friend and you could see it on their faces. You see, Mr. Carr was deeply rooted in his community, he invested most of his life into those around him. He was the chief at Millerville Volunteer Fire Dept. for 15 years. Gathering from what I heard at the funeral though Mr. Carr didn't just love the building that housed the VFD he loved and invested in the people that served with him and those that they served. I saw this in the faces of the people that Mr. Carr loved yesterday. Traci even told those that were there from the community yesterday that "my dad loved you" and "he tried to teach you and take care of you." The preacher spent time talking about how Mr. Carr loved the church and told stories about how he lived that love on a daily basis. What type of man is a man that doesn't try to improve what he has and the lives of those around him? I have only been to Millerville once and through it a hand full of times in my life but I can say with the utmost assurance that Millerville, AL is a better place today because Roy Carr chose to make it his home. I can only hope that someone says that about me some day.
The second reason that led me to believe that Mr. Carr understood Jesus' answer to the Pharisees' question is what I heard the preacher and good friend of Mr. Carr's say about him as he preached his funeral. He made the statement several times that "we are not here to mourn for Roy but we are here to mourn for ourselves. I know he's in a much better place now, kicking gold dust up as he walks along the streets of Heaven." This served as a singular statement that intertwined throughout his sermon as he switched back and forth between the Gospel of Christ and various stories about Mr. Carr's faith that seemed both to confort to those that were suffering in the room and offer hope to those that might otherwise be hopeless in their own confrontation with the mortality of this life. He spoke about his love for certain passages of scripture, in particular Psalm 23. The preacher moved through arguably one of the most famous passages in the bible as you would expect to hear at a funeral but one thing was different about this time. I've heard preachers correlate verse 4, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil", with the family and suffering friends at a funeral service as a comforting passage obviously because of the end of the verse "for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me", as a reminder that God loves us and is with us when we suffer the loss of a loved one. This preacher did not do that however. When he arrived at this part of the passage he stopped and told a story about spending time with Mr. Carr as he suffered at the hospital. He talked about how they had conversations about Psalm 23 and how Mr. Carr showed no fear about walking through the valley of the shadow of death. What faith does a man have to have in something that makes him look death in the eye and hold his chin up? That's not playing church! I think that what the preacher was trying to say was that Mr. Carr KNEW that God loved him and would take care of him and he loved God for it - his reaction to the reality of what was coming soon was a testament to this. What a powerful statement to those of us that now talk about his life!
I never had the privledge of meeting Mr. Carr but I now wish that I had. I cannot tell you that I have ever walked away from a funeral saying that about someone but there is something real about Mr. Carr's life that I cannot ignore, something tangible. Mr. Carr invested his life in the things that mattered. He made his time count for something and those that knew him and "did life" with him understand that the most. When I think about the things that I saw and heard yesterday I am inspired to be a better father to my two boys, a better employee at work, to put the needs of others in front of my own and to share the Gospel of Christ to those that might not know.
What kind of man can inspire those things in someone that never met him just by attending his funeral? I would say a man that lived life touched by the purpose of God. We should continue to pray for those that loved Mr. Carr and have been deeply touched by his death but we should also celebrate his life daily by removing our selfish ambitions and loving those around us more - a trait that Roy Carr seemed to know all too well.
I created this post in response to a request that I have asked God for recently. I asked God that He would be real to me today. I think that, at least in part, God answered my question with this situation. Watching how Traci Morrow and her family responded during her father's funeral, seeing how grounded they were, listening to the preacher speak of Mr. Carr's unwavering faith even in the face of death was amazing to me. This must be the faith that the Bible speaks about. This must be the real deal.
What power and strength must lie in actually knowing the I AM? Seeing and hearing what I saw and heard yesterday only makes me more thirsty for the real God of the Heavens and I hope it does for you also.
God Bless,
Matt
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